Having a baby was the next step on your life journey.

You imagined it, prepared for it, planned it. But it hasn’t happened. And it still isn’t happening.

So here you are, trying to accept what you never imagined, prepared for, or planned for. The pain of infertility.

Please know you don’t have to walk on this path by yourself. Infertility counseling can help you cope. It can bring healing and clarity.

The loss of your conception, pregnancy, and baby dreams is real. It’s okay to ask for help letting go of all your “could have beens” and the little someone you hoped would be in your arms by now. It’s okay to seek guidance on the road to a new family plan.

Seriously consider reaching out to a qualified therapist to work through the following infertility-related issues:

Your life may be consumed, defined, and overwhelmed by your experience of infertility.

Counseling can be a lifeline when this painful emotional experience hijacks your life. Whether you are on a monthly roller-coaster of trying to conceive, or you have decided to no longer try, find someone to help you work through the gamut of emotions.

Ongoing sadness, worry, anger, or debilitating emotional pain may require professional attention. Therapy can provide coping strategies that keep depression and more severe forms of anxiety at bay.

Your relationship may be suffering under the weight of what could have been.

Infertility stresses the foundations of many relationships. Many couples badly want the whole family picture, and an inability to have biological children is so unexpected or unacceptable that the reality can drive a wedge between you. Sex becomes more about scientific fertility trial and error than intimacy. Or it may bring with it a sense of failure or unbearable pressure.

To make matters worse, misunderstanding, miscommunication, and conflict can add to the strain. Differences in the way each partner feels acknowledged or supported may be misread and lead to isolation. Infertility counseling, provided by a qualified therapist, can provide ideas for communication that foster compassion and understanding.

You may feel uncertain, lost, or confused.

You’ve never been here before. In fact, you assumed you never would be. And you don’t want to be here now.

So there’s no reason to think you’ll know how to proceed without some clear guidance. An infertility counselor is specifically trained to help you gain a clear understanding of your situation and the options available to you. Your therapist’s objectivity and knowledge can be a godsend, keeping you grounded, and informed, and helping you prepare for the challenges accompanying your next steps.

You may have to navigate the emotional significance of your available options.

Many couples must grapple with the fact that a third party is necessary to make reproduction possible. Some couples even feel shame or despair at the prospect. Whether cell donation, a surrogate, or adoption plan is required, accepting the loss of joint conception may involve grief counseling, couples counseling, and emotional support for you and your partner in the days ahead.

You may decide to let the dream go.

You wanted biological children and you tried your best to have them. But you and your partner realize it’s not in the cards. You decide to move on.

Infertility counseling is crucial at this point.

Your therapist can help you fully process the decision rather than simply bury the feelings. Your relationship and future plans will greatly benefit from the process of resolution and integration.

You may realize that you’re just not okay today.

Sometimes nothing dramatic or overwhelming is happening.

You just need the perspective and encouragement of someone who “gets it.”

Infertility counseling can be a place to go when trying to have a baby just feels hard and sad.

Sometimes you need to tell someone that you’re struggling. No more. No less.

Whatever your future holds, it is an altered dream. Infertility counseling can help you sort through it all and give you the tools to work through these challenges, accept how things currently are, and make plans for a future that’s different than the one you imagined.

For more information on Infertility and Prenatal Loss Counseling click here.