Low light, scented candles, and passion used to be the norm.

Satisfying, impulsive connection, delicious post-date lovemaking, and all of the exciting anticipation in between, were once a big part of your relationship.

Now? Well, now intimacy is so far on the back burner that you’ll need a pretty hot and steady flame to heat things up again.

Don’t worry! You can bring intimacy back again with decisive action and a strong desire to indulge your desire. Try these strategies:

Try to be less, well, boring.

Google defines boring as “tedious, repetitive, unimaginative, and uneventful.” Definitely not the way you’d describe your ideal physical relationship.

If intimacy is fizzling, it may be time to examine your routine and change it.

Revisit fun, novelty, and fantasy.

Intentionally let your mind loose and choose to be bold and unpredictable.

Refine your “we” time.

Maybe your schedules are crazy busy. Perhaps parenthood is squelching your spontaneity. It might be that you’re just too exhausted to raise your voice, let alone actually get aroused.

Time and energy are musts for physical satisfaction. Prioritize time. Plan adventures. Schedule time for sex if needed.

Build anticipation with texts, love notes, and a slow kiss or two throughout the day.

Your connection is too important to sacrifice.

Broaden your definition of intimacy.

Roommates are nice to have around the house and to share expenses. Roommates, though, are usually just not that sexy.

Your partner should be more than a roommate.

To get the most out of intimacy, try to connect with your partner on a variety of levels.

Get to know each other again. Ask each other questions. Listen to each other and linger in each other’s presence.

Practice loving acceptance.

Committed love changes over time. It’s okay to accept that.

With that in mind, you can simply embrace the present and build intimacy that serves your current relationship.

Accept your current bodies and your current perceptions of yourselves. Accept that you may never make love in the Parisian rain or look like swimsuit models.

Time needn’t erode the way you express your love. Pursue and peruse your partner’s body. Indulge intimacy freely, openly, and appreciatively.

Release resentments to increase intimacy.

Partners often avoid each other physically when unresolved conflict creates emotional distance.

Promptly deal with discord or hurt feelings. Respectfully examine and work through topics or issues that interfere with healthy communication.

If reestablishing closeness is too difficult to do on your own, seek out a relationship therapist for help.

Boost your body’s appetite for intimacy.

Sexual ability and desire increase when you are healthy, rested, and fit.

Exercise, whole foods, and plenty of sleep will support a vigorous sexual appetite.

Avoid unhealthy habits like smoking, drinking, or eating to excess to help keep performance and desire at their peak.

If something physically isn’t right, don’t let it come between you and your partner. Share your concerns with a healthcare professional immediately.

Preventative and proactive care are essential for ensuring satisfying intimacy.

Basically, you can do a lot to get those sexy, connected feelings back.

It may take a bit of renewed effort and enthusiasm. Or a fresh perspective.

Sometimes feelings are even blocked or buried and people need a few visits with a couple’s counselor to understand how they might restore intimacy.

That’s okay. Do what it takes to recover this crucial part of your relationship.

If time together has boiled down to almost nothing in the bottom of that back burner pot, then turn up the heat.

Pour more of yourselves into your relationship. Add some spice to that dish.

Don’t pass on a mutually-delicious experience.

Intimacy is really good, and really good for you. Take time to enjoy it!